Twenty years after we moved from Ohio to California, my parents received a letter from the children’s librarian in our old town. She had addressed it to “Resident,” not knowing if she had the right address for our family. “The other day while uncluttering a box in my basement,” she wrote, “I discovered a letter written by a girl named Cindy Lee. It was dated 12/30/00.” She asked for news of us, wished us well, and closed by noting, “The fear of the virus has kept us all close to home.”
During this pandemic, I’ve been staying at home, too. I feel fortunate to be able to work from home—to have work and to have a home. Mrs. B’s letter reminded me how many other ways I’m lucky. The library has always been a home for me, the librarians a kind of extended family for a kid whose relatives were all thousands of miles away. When Mrs. B reached out across time and geography, she showed me once again how many homes I have, homes that exist in stories and in people.
My mom’s been taking me to the library since before I was born. She and my dad met in college in Taiwan, when the country was still under martial law. After graduation, she got a job in the city while my dad had his two years of military service. His grandmother insisted that they get married before my dad could move to the US, so all of a sudden, my mother found herself in Cleveland, Ohio. New to the country and to the language, she whiled away the hours reading while my dad worked on his master’s. When she was pregnant, she’d sit in the Cleveland State University library while my dad was in class, reading with the book on her belly while I moved around inside, and then taking breaks by walking up and down the stairs.
Cindy with her mother, Lijen, and father, Yentai, at Cleveland State University (1988)
Living downtown, we could walk to the main public library, the neoclassical behemoth on Superior Avenue. My mother led me up the grand marble staircases, which were almost as impressive as all the knowledge sitting on the shelves, but my most poignant memory is still a gigantic globe on one of the floors. After my brother was born, we moved to the suburbs and started going to story time at the Solon Public Library. I remember Dr. Seuss and the Berenstain Bears—but not that spelling of Berenstain!
When my parents were largely ignored at my elementary school’s PTA meetings, they decided to contribute in a different way, so my mom started volunteering at the school library. She carefully enclosed new books in clear contact paper, supported my Boxcar Children habit, and brought Taiwanese tea to the librarians as gifts. They encouraged her to apply when a page position opened up at the public library.
Although my mom was fast and accurate at shelving books, she is characteristically self-deprecating even now. “My English wasn’t great,” she told me recently, “but the librarians hired me because they all knew you were my daughter.” I was certainly at the library all the time. I went to children’s programs at the library, worked my way through the summer reading program each year, borrowed Little Women for a family road trip to New Jersey, and looked up Magellan and Ponce de Leon for a school project. I remember checking out Sense and Sensibility, though I’m not sure why that stands out in the list of Jane Austen novels.
Sharing a class writing project at Parkside Elementary School in Solon, Ohio (1994)
More notable is the opening of the shiny new library building and going to a murder mystery party there. The details may be lost to time, but I recall gorging myself on pizza with my friends. The library provided more than activities and books; the librarians would tip off my mom when interesting new books arrived, so she often brought home wondrous new worlds for me to explore. I excitedly told my friends about one such book, but it wasn’t until months later, when the Scholastic Book Fair came to school, that my friends decided to read Harry Potter.
A particularly tangible symbol of the warmth we encountered at the library is a blanket the librarians gave my family when we moved away from Solon in 1999. Woven into the blanket are different landmarks from around town, and my mother carefully packed it away for the journey to California. Years later, she sent it with me when I moved to Taiwan, and it came in handy when I then moved back to California. As a farewell gift, a friend gave me a bottle of Kavalan, so I wrapped it in my Solon blanket to ensure that my Taiwanese whisky would make it across the Pacific.
Thanks to Mrs. B’s letter, I’ve been revisiting memories of all these places that have felt like home. The comfort of the library imprinted early on, a gift in utero from my mother. My mom didn’t feel like she knew all the answers in this strange new place where she was living, but she was confident that we’d be able to find them in the library.
(translation by Elve McSweeney-Lin 林宇霏)
從亥俄州搬到加州的20年後的某日，我的父母收到來自居住過的城鎮的兒童圖書館館員的來信。因為不知道信件是否會寄到我們的正確住址，所以信中稱呼我們為「住戶」。信裡說，「幾天前在地下室整理箱子裡的物品時，我發現一封來自一個叫李欣廸的女孩寫的信，寫信日期是２０００年１２月３０日。」圖書館員在信裡詢問我們過得如何，並祝福我們一切安好，信尾寫了「對病毒的畏懼讓我們都跑不遠」。
在新冠肺炎大流行的這段期間，我一直都待在家裡。能夠在家裡工作、有一份工作、有一個家，我覺得很幸運。Ｂ女士的信使我想起在許多方面有多幸運。對我而言，圖書館一直以來都是我的家；圖書館人員，對我這個親戚都遠在幾千哩外的小孩來說，也如我的親人一般。當收到Ｂ女士這封穿越時空與地域的信件，我再次想起了我曾擁有過的許多歸所，他們存在於故事裡，也存在於故事裡、故事外的人物中。
早在我出生之前，我媽媽就帶著我去圖書館了。我的父母相識於台灣的某大學裡，當時的台灣還在戒嚴。畢業後，我媽媽在都市找到一份工作，而我爸爸則去當了兩年的兵。之後，在我曾祖母的堅持下，他們先結了婚，再一起搬去美國。忽然之間，我媽媽才意識到她竟然已經在俄亥俄州克利夫蘭市了！在這個說著陌生語言的陌生國家，她透過閱讀消磨時光，而我爸爸則攻讀碩士。在媽媽懷孕期間，她常待在克利夫蘭州立大學圖書館裡，手上拿著一本書，放在我動來動去的肚子上，一邊閱讀，一邊等爸爸下課。看書看得累了，她便會上下樓梯走動，當作休息。
因為住在市中心，我們走路就能到達座落於壯麗大道上的公共圖書館總館。我記得我媽媽帶著我一步步走在那壯觀的新古典主義下的產物上，宏偉的石階就跟書架上淵博的知識一樣令人歎為觀止；但最讓我印象深刻的的莫過於於某層樓上的巨型地球儀。在弟弟出生後，我們搬到郊區，且常常到梭倫公共圖書館聽故事。我記得我們聽了蘇斯博士的貝貝熊系列故事；奇怪的是，我們這一輩當時都稱貝貝熊作比比熊，不知道為什麼！
在國小家長座談會裡不斷地被忽視後，我的父母決定以其他的方式略盡綿薄之力，就這樣我媽媽開始去學校圖書館當義工。在圖書館裡，她小心翼翼地用透明書套把一本本的書包好；為支持我兒時閱讀棚車少年讀物的興趣，借書回家給我看；帶台灣茶作禮物，送給圖書館員們。所以，當圖書館有職缺釋出時，圖書館的員工則鼓勵她去申請。
儘管我媽媽能很快速且準確的整理圖書，她仍保有她一貫的謙遜。她最近跟我說，「我的英文不好，他們僱用我是因為知道你是我的女兒。」沒錯，那時我總是待在圖書館裡；我去參加兒童活動，在每年暑期閱讀活動裡認真看書，我還從圖書館借了小婦人，讓我在前往紐澤西的家族旅行途中看，我也為了學校專題，研究了麥哲倫跟龐塞·德萊昂。我記得我也借過珍·奧斯汀的感性與理性，雖然我不懂為什麼我對借珍·奧斯丁系列中的這本書的這件事情特別有印象，畢竟這不是她最有名或我最喜歡的一本書。
讓我最印象深刻的是新圖書館的開幕，及去那裡探討「謀殺之謎」。細節我記不大清楚了，但我記得我和我的朋友狼吞虎嚥地吃比薩。圖書館提供的不僅僅是書籍及活動，當有趣的新書到館時，館員會先通知我媽媽，所以他常常帶回「奇幻新穎的新世界」供我探索。有一次我非常興奮地跟我的朋友們分享一本書特別的書，不過他們是直到幾個月後，學樂集團到學校舉行書展時，才決定閱讀哈利波特。
最讓我們暖心且具有象徵意義的是１９９９年我們搬離梭倫市時，圖書館員們送給我們一家的一件毛毯，那件毛毯織有梭倫市附近的重要地標。我媽媽小心地把毛毯打包起來，和我們一起步上搬往加州的旅程；幾年後，在我搬到台灣時，她讓我把毛毯也一起帶上；當我要搬回加州時，毛毯剛好派上用場。我把梭倫市毛毯拿來包朋友送的踐行之禮，確保來自台灣的葛瑪蘭威士忌能完好無缺橫地跨太平洋。
多虧這封Ｂ女士寄來的信，讓我有機會重新回憶那些像家一樣的地方。圖書館帶給我的溫暖與親切在很久以前就已深深地烙印在我的身上與心裡，這是一份母親在胎裡便給我的禮物。她深信這份“禮物”能夠幫助我們，讓我們在圖書館裡找到所有疑問的解答，找到當時她初來乍到時所有無法了解或體會的疑惑的解答。
Cindy Lee, Ph.D. is a Communications Specialist at the Advanced Light Source, Lawrence Berkeley National Lab
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