Like many Taiwanese Americans, Mandarin Chinese was the primary language spoken at home in my early childhood years, before formal public schooling rendered English as the dominant language to take over our household. Growing up, I have fond memories of being woken up by my mother’s soundtrack of soulful Mandarin pop ballads as she cooked rice porridge for us on early Sunday mornings. I remember being captivated by the background sounds of sword fights and long winded monologues of Chinese historical dramas, a favorite pastime of my mother as she rested her feet after a long day. To me, Mandarin wasn’t just my first language, it was my heart language. I eagerly took on my mom’s interests in Mandarin pop music and historical dramas as my own, and discovered my own favorite musical artists and shows to devour during my summer vacations to Taiwan. While my listening skills were strong with all of my passive absorption of the language, my Chinese weekend school classes never gave me more than a rudimentary knowledge of zhuyin (the phonetic system for Chinese used primarily in Taiwan) and a few basic characters. As such, my early foundation in spoken and literate Mandarin Chinese never got past the kindergarten stage.
As a young adult, I took a beginner Mandarin course in college and a gap year in Taiwan to study the language in hopes of improving my knowledge of the language, but my efforts were fruitless. In both experiences, I was bored in the beginner classes I was placed in, as I was several levels higher than my peers in comprehension and speaking, but couldn’t move up a level due to my poor literacy skills. Frustrated at not being able to find any language classes that fit my specific needs led me to push learning the language away.
It wasn’t until I became a mother that I finally discovered a newfound purpose and internal motivation to relearn the language. Upon having my first child, I knew that I wanted to give him a strong foundation in Mandarin Chinese, not only for the many opportunities that being bilingual can provide for him, but also to have a home language that was special to us. So, I made it my mission to find all the tools and resources I could to help us both along this Mandarin language journey. Amongst one of those resources was Angela Lin and Jane Liu’s Real You Mandarin: Beginnings course.
In my journey to relearn my heritage language along with my children, I discovered that I wanted to focus a lot of my energy on learning the vocabulary needed to navigate difficult emotions and empathize with different perspectives. The course creators of Real You Mandarin really hit the mark on creating several bite sized videos that highlight real conversations on sensitive topics in Mandarin.
Each module begins with a short dialogue that you might exchange if you were talking to a family member or friend. Each video is only about 3 minutes, so it is the perfect amount of time for me to watch and review in the little free time that I have. The course encourages you to echo and then shadow the dialogue so that you become familiar with the pronunciation, cadence, and speed. This was actually a new technique that I never thought to try as a language learner, and I find myself speaking more confidently and fluidly as I repeat the same phrases over and over again. Similar to a toddler learning how to speak, mimicking and echoing are such important skills that we as adults overlook, and undergoing this humbling practice reminds me that this is where we all started when we learned languages as young kids.
Soon enough, the phrases you practice again and again become ingrained in your brain and muscle memory, and they eventually become your own. Little did I know that this exercise that was originally used to practice my speaking fluency was also empowering and healing a part of myself. I imagined my former young self confidently speaking to my parents with phrases such as, “用自己的方式追求個人的夢想不算自私。我只是真的需要為自己做主/It’s not selfish to pursue your dreams and what’s best for yourself…I need to find my own way.” (Part 2, Module 1A: Forging My Own Path) and “身為一個人不是只有身體健康而已。把心理跟情緒維持在好的狀態也是一樣的重要。Being a person means you need more than just a healthy body. Being in a good place mentally and emotionally is just as important.” (Part 2, Module 4A: Taking Care of Your Mental Health Is Important).
While all the modules are relevant and interesting, the lessons that really resonated with me were “Forging My Own Path,” “Filial Piety vs Individual Freedom,” and “Mental Health”.
The module, “Forging My Own Path”, gives me a fully written out script that I wish I had when I decided to go on a different career path against my parents wishes. “Filial Piety vs Individual Freedom” gives me the language to tackle the conversation between Eastern and Western cultural differences in an empathetic and non-confrontational way with my family members. And “Mental Health”, a taboo topic, especially in the Asian community, provides me with the vocabulary I need to advocate for myself when prioritizing my mental wellness and seeking therapy.
But most importantly, the greater benefit that this course gives Taiwanese Americans is a space where we feel seen and validated. It fills a void that so many Taiwanese American adults yearn to fill when they pursue learning their heritage language. Angela even provides a Discord Community where students of Real You Mandarin can connect and share their language learning experiences with each other.
I wish this course had existed back when I was first learning Mandarin as an adult, because not only would I have gained more confidence to talk about topics on a deeper level with my Taiwanese relatives, but I would have also felt less insecure about my ability to learn Mandarin as someone who “should already know Mandarin.” Currently, as I am learning Mandarin alongside my two young children, I am embracing my fluency as a work in progress, rather than a weakness. I hope my children see that while my Mandarin is not perfect, I continue to put in the effort because I truly value the opportunities and benefits that come with learning their cultural language, a special language we can share that reminds us of home.
Jennifer Chang is a former elementary school teacher, now taking a pause to take care of her two young children. She enjoys exploring the outdoors, drinking Oolong tea, and sharing her love of learning with her kids.
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